The Impact of a Mother’s Spiritual Nurture
A recent TGC podcast discussed the “vital partnership of men and women in ministry” and advocated for “visible female leadership” within the church. There were a number of problems in what was said, but I want to focus on an off-hand comment that I think illuminates the whole discussion.
After a long conversation about the importance of women in ministry (without any definition of what that might be or look like), Jen Wilkin said: “I’ve challenged the guys at the church that I’ve served at, you know? I’ll say, ‘Hey, who can name three people who’ve had the greatest impact on your faith?’ and typically, they name all men. And then I’ll just say, ‘It’s not wrong, it’s not a wrong answer.’ But I’ll say, ‘What if you had a woman on that list and not your mom?'”
One can just imagine Wilkin, lurking in the corridors of her church, pouncing on the unsuspecting fellow coming around the corner as she demands to know who the fairest (theological hero) of them all is. And why does she qualify the question with “not your mom”? Because it’s the most natural thing in the world for a man growing up in a Christian home to have his mom as his main, if not only, female spiritual influence. Who took care of his daily needs as a child? Who taught him to read the Bible? Whose words of instruction did he hear day in and day out? Whose prayers followed him throughout his days? If he grew up in a Christian home, it was his most likely his mother who nurtured and admonished the children throughout the day. All a mother’s prayers, all her disciplining, all the hours she teaches her children to read the Bible, to study their catechism, to memorize verses, to get along with their siblings, to serve others, these are the natural means God has designed for the spiritual nurture of children. Women are not called to “visible church leadership” for many different (and theological) reasons, but any Christian woman who has borne a child has a necessary, but mostly invisible, ministry to that child.
Women can serve the Lord in many ways in the church, but the most obvious way is that God calls mothers to serve their children. A woman’s children are her primary responsibility and she (along with her husband) will stand before God one day and give account for how they shepherded those precious souls. This is a staggering responsibility. It is incredibly humbling to realize that the greatest spiritual work a mother will do is to watch over those souls that need her to feed them and wipe their noses. Thankfully, God’s grace is sufficient for a mother’s weakness and he multiplies her feeble efforts on behalf of her covenant children. We have many examples of godly mothers in the Bible: Moses’s mother, by faith, saved her son; Hannah prayed for Samuel, who became a leader in Israel; Eunice and Loise raised Timothy in the faith, just to name a few. These women did not have influence over large amounts of people in their lifetimes; they did not build large platforms as teachers; but by being faithful to God and by raising their sons in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, they exercised an enormous influence on the people of God, and even on the course of history.
There are many other such stories throughout Christian history. Augustine was highly influenced by his mother’s faith and admonitions. Susanna Wesley raised John and Charles Wesley, famous revivalists and hymn writers. This summer our family had the privilege of going on the Christian Heritage Tour in London, and we sat in the church of St. Mary Woolnoth, where John Newton pastored and William Wilberforce was a congregant under Newton’s preaching. Our guide told us the story of how Newton lost his mother when he was only seven years old, though it was his memories of her faith that eventually brought him out of his sin into the light of salvation in Jesus Christ. Of course, Newton is famous for penning “Amazing Grace.” He was a former slave-trader who, after his conversion, became a pastor. He worked with William Wilberforce and encouraged Wilberforce in his decades’ long work to abolish slavery in the United Kingdom. The prayers and instruction of a mother who had only seven years with her child had a world-wide impact! A mother’s labors, tears, and prayers are not in vain. No one may ever give an award or public recognition to a mother’s service to her family. She won’t have “visible leadership,” but her invisible day to day work is ever so much more valuable than she might realize.
Archibald Alexander, Presbyterian minister and professor at Princeton Seminary in the 1800s, in his book Thoughts on Religious Experience, has wonderful counsel for mothers. For example, he relays this encouraging story:
I recollect a young gentleman, who, although he had an uncommonly pious mother, broke over all the restraints of his education, and became a professed infidel and the advocate of licentiousness in its vilest forms; but a gracious God heard the unceasing prayers of his mother, and by means somewhat unusual he was converted from the error of his ways. In speaking of his former career – which he evidently did with shame and humility – he said, ‘I could get over all arguments in defence of religion but one, and that I never could obviate, which was the pious example and conversation of my mother. When I had fortified myself against the truth by the aid of Bolingbroke, Hume, and Voltaire, yet, whenever I thought of my mother, I had the secret conviction which nothing could remove, that there was a reality in religion.’
He goes on to say, with conviction that pierces modern Christian hearts no less than those of his contemporaries:
I have often heard pious females complain that they had little or nothing in their power, and they felt as if they were almost useless members of society. This is an egregious miscalculation. Their influence is silent and spreads imperceptibly, but it is real and effective. Piety is like light which cannot be hid. The more it seeks concealment, and retires from public notice, the more brightly it shines. Female influence only ceases, or operates unfavourably, when women depart from their own proper sphere; or when they endeavor to obtrude themselves upon the notice and admiration of the public. As we are shocked with infidelity in a female, so female ambition is odious. Let the devoted mother exert herself in her own proper sphere, which is in the retirement of the domestic circle, and in constant and devout attendance on the worship of God. Let her look well to the affairs of her household. Let her manifest her benignity and forbearance in the steady government of her children and servants. Let her set an example of order, neatness, industry, and hospitality, and she will have enough to do. Every hour, and almost every minute, will furnish opportunity for the exercise of some virtue; and that Eye which goes everywhere will graciously notice, and bring to light too, those acts which are cheerfully and conscientiously performed. A mother cannot be placed in a more interesting field of labour than in the midst of a large circle of children. Here is her appropriate sphere of action. Here she has work enough to occupy her heart and hands.
Mothers and grandmothers should not lose heart in their long, faithful, and invisible service to their children and families. They should keep praying for their children and take courage during those long days filled with toddler messes and lack of sleep, or when in doubt about how to guide a teenager.
In conclusion, Archibald Alexander further encourages mothers with these wise words:
But whatever else you neglect, omit not to follow your children, when absent, with your daily prayers. Very often, this is the only thing which is left to mothers. Their children are either removed far from them, or, if near, they have lost their influence over them. But there is ONE, who is near to them, and who can influence them. O mothers! plead for your dear offspring at the throne of grace; travail in birth for them a second time.
With dependence on God’s grace, a mother can strengthen her arms for the labors of her household. Without a doubt, this is the most profitable ministry to which the Lord calls a mother, and He will multiply it in ways she can’t possibly foresee.
Image: Unsplash
I always love to see women who have public careers as writers or speakers telling the rest of us to be invisible weak doormats.
You didn’t even take the time to see if Mrs. Dunson has a public career. She is, rather, the devoted wife of a theologian who writes frequently for this publication and the loving mother of her children. She speaks in the midst of what she is recommending.
She writes for American Reformer which I assume pays her. Getting paid for writing IS a job outside the home. She’s another Phyllis Schlafly hypocrite.
One article, or even an occasional article isn’t a career, which is what you said in the first quote.
Ignore Karen. She’s a dishonest troll.
Someone should introduce her to Curt Day. Im not sure of their respective marital statuses, but, you know, seems like they at least have shared interests.